I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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