You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
