Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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