He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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