we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize