im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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