Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
