take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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