why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
