she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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