you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
