i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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