i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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