i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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