Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
