She said her name was "party"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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