I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
