pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
