he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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