i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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