he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
