Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
