so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
high people should be assigned attendants
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
