just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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