Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
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