would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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