it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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