This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
