PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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