they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
