I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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