Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
