I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
