I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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