I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
