at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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