dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
