Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize