It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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