so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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