and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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