I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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