I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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