You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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