So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
