Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
