I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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