He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
