Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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