tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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