If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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