Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
