I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
