The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
