so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
