i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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