i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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