Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
