More tranny stories later!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
