Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
