I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
