i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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